Style Conversational Week 1358: Let’s do some stirring, creatures The Empress of The Style Invitational on this week’s ‘Night Before Christmas’ contest and neologism results A handwritten version of “A Visit From St. Nicholas” penned by Clement Moore as a gift from the poet. (New-York Historical Society) By Pat Myers November 14, 2019 at 3:27 p.m. EST It’s been close to three years since The Style Invitational did its last word bank contest: In February 2017, just a couple of weeks after Donald Trump swore on the Bible to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, I announced our Week 1214 contest thus: “Donald Trump’s inaugural address was 1,433 words of pure … source material for our perennial word bank game, in which we present some widely known work or passage, and ask you to write something else from some of its words.” This week’s contest, Week 1358, gives you barely a third as many words to work with, but I’m confident that we’ll get a wide variety of funny, creative entries. After all, our contest using the Gettysburg Address (Week 758, 2008) used just 272 words, though back then I let people use words extracted from other words, like “bra” from “brave.” Sorry, no more of that. If there’s anyone attuned to what works in Style Invitational contests, it’s Jesse Frankovich, for whom getting three blots of ink in a contest is an off week. And so in addition to the half-dozen sample entries he sent me with his suggestion, Jesse also noted the “lots of interesting words to play with in there (brains, breast, cheeks, finger, hurricane, jerk, mamma, opening, spite, wall, to name a few).” “Opening”? Oh, boy. AD For those who don’t want to read “A Visit From St. Nicholas” 927 times while working on this contest, Jesse helpfully provided this alphabetical list, which he counted at 540 words. I broke the five hyphenated words in the poem (e.g., “new-fallen,” “sugar-plums”) into two words, so the list now has 545. So you can make a bunch of copies of the list, then cross out or delete words as you’ve used them in your entry, to make sure you didn’t, say, use “what” more than twice — or “is” at all. I’m hoping to use a variety of subject matter — political stuff, jokes, dialogue, maybe poems — and a mix of short and longer entries. You are NOT more likely to get ink by sending me the longest thing you could write before tiring of the exercise; long entries have to be worth the space they take up. (Although I did indeed run the incredible 700-word entry by Mike Burch at the end of the Week 1214 results) Remember that while you can’t add to or subtract from the individual words below, you can change the capitalization or add punctuation. So, for example, you could change “brains” to “brain’s,” or “away” to “a-way.” And I hope I can prevail upon Loser Gary Crockett once again to validate the entries via computer wizardry rather than the Empress’s manual tedium, as he did so usefully for this week’s results. Here’s the list: AD ADVERTISING a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a all all all all all all all all all an and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and appear arose around as as as as ashes aside away away away away away back be be beard bed beds before before belly below Blitzen bound bow bowlful brains breast broad bundle but but but by by called came came cap care cheeks cherry children chimney chimney chimney chin Christmas Christmas chubby clatter clothes Comet coursers coursers creature Cupid danced Dancer dash dash dash day Dasher dimples Donder down down drawn dread dressed drew driver droll drove dry each eagles eight elf encircled ere even exclaim eye eyes eyes face fallen filled finger flash flew flew flew flung fly foot for from from full fur gave gave gave giving good had had had had happy he he he he he he he he he he he he head head head head heads heard heard held her him him his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his hoof hopes house house how how hung hurricane I I I I I I I I I I in in in in in in in in in in in it it jelly jerk jolly just just kerchief knew know laughed laughed lawn laying leaves like like like like like like like like little little little little lively long looked lustre mamma matter me meet merry mid miniature moment moon more mount mouse mouth must my my my myself name nap nestled new Nicholas Nicholas Nicholas Nick night night nod nose nose not not not nothing now now now now objects obstacle of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of old old on on on on on on on open opening our out out pack pawing pedler pipe plump plums porch Prancer prancing quick rapid reindeer right roof rose roses round sash saw see settled shook should shouted shutters sight sky sleigh sleigh sleigh smoke snow snow snug so so soon soon soot spite spoke sprang sprang St. St. St. St. stirring stockings stockings straight stump such sugar tarnished team teeth than that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their them then then there there they they they they they thistle threw through tight tiny to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too top top top tore toys toys turned turning twas twinkled twinkling twist up up up up visions Vixen wall was was was was was was was went were were were were what what when when when when when when while whistle whistled white wild window wink winter’s with with with with with with with wondering word work would wreath By the way, the print version of this week’s Invitational includes the first 18 lines of the poem. I’ve found that, no matter how easy I make it to look something up online (hence the wapo.st/TNBC address), a lot more print readers will send in an entry if I give them the necessary material right on the page. Grid quote pros*: The results of Week 1354 *Non-inking entry by Jon Gearhart AD Despite a grid that turned out to be heavily oversalted with Q’s and Z’s (we think we have a way to prevent that next time), the Loser Community came up with lots of cool neologic finds by snaking through the word search puzzle in Week 1354. Thank you thank you thank you, Gary Crockett, for offering, unsolicited, to devise a computer program that “in no time flat” would test whether the letters in each word actually did connect correctly through the grid: that each letter was adjacent to the next, and that no spot on the grid was used twice in the same word or phrase. That saved lots of time and tedium on my part — I sent him my whole shortlist of several dozen entries — and it did catch a word in which a word used the same letter twice: Dangdale, a town where it seems nobody curses (Mayberry is a famed dangdale), used the D at G-19 twice. (So close, Daniel Helming!) Once again, a member of this year’s remarkable rookie class scores the Lose Cannon — and it’s his second: Sam Mertens’s “DoveSwanGiantRat” — one-upping the turducken — was both Thanksgiving-timely and hilarious; my predecessor the Czar singled it out as the only entry this week that literally made him LOL. Sam got his first blot of ink in Week 1323 and now is up to 30, with the two wins plus three runners-up. AD A longtime Loser but a very occasional entrant, Mike Creveling usually prefers to serve up his wit in the Style Invitational Devotees Facebook group. His full statement of White House foreign policy, “SAUDI OIL? OK, AID!,” gives him his 16th blot of Invite ink, and his first entry ever “above the fold.” With this week’s runner-up plus an honorable mention, Raymond Gallucci also scores Ink No. 6, while Frank Osen is the sole member of the Losers’ Circle this week to be there too often to write about. What Doug Dug: Ace Copy Editor Doug Norwood agreed with my choices for this week’s winner and ‘zup, and also singled out Jesse Frankovich’s NEPOMAT (overseas envoy who just happens to be related to the president) Chris Doyle’s GUDWIG (Beethoven’s better-coifed brother) and Duncan Stevens’s MLKING, what the civil rights leader’s estate does to those who’d like to show a clip of the “Dream” speech. TL;DR. Or barely. The week’s longest entry — which Gary Crockett didn’t have to validate because no way was it on my shortlist: “DARN TARTY AMOEBA SAID I BID AN OUTER TUB OR LEG. BOOM! LOVES WIN! ANY I’D BURN?: I think this microbe may be cheating me.” It was by … Gary Crockett. (Who did get three honorable mentions this week.) AD FINDING HIMSELF: I was judging blindly as usual, but my EmpreSP led me to guess that Loser Eric Nelkin was the author of “NELKIN RANTS: ‘Anytime he doesn’t get ink, he goes one of his Nelkin rants about the Empress’s poor judgment.’ ” I presume that Eric won’t be ranting about his two blots of ink this week for other entries. What you doing Tuesday night? If you’re downtown around 6 p.m. (exact time TBD) on Tuesday, Nov. 19, join me and some other Losers and Devotees as we welcome the visiting Jesse Frankovich, who’s coming in from Michigan for a conference. We’re meeting at District Thai, 1014 Vermont Ave NW (near K Street); nothing fancy but it’s been good the times I’ve been there for lunch. The restaurant is on the second floor. If you’re planning to be there, send me an email and I’ll make sure to give you the exact time when we work that out. Parody on — you have another week! Remember that the deadline for the Week 1357 song parody contest isn’t till Monday, Nov. 25, the same as for Week 1358. I already have songs from 52 Losers, but am always eager for more.